NaNoWriMo

I am participating in National Novel Writing Month.

If you are interested in details on NaNo, visit their website.

So far, it’s been going well. I am working with my web programmer husband to get a graphic on my sidebar that will show my loyal readers what word count I’m at, but for now, when I hit a benchmark, I post it on twitter, and any readers of my blog can see my tweets on the sidebar, also a new feature added by my husband.

I don’t have a lot to share about this, other than to apologize for my lack of posting lately. Life has been fairly hectic and as a way to sort of blow off some steam about it all, I decided to participate in NaNo. This has put me in touch with a rather close knit group of local writers that participate in the event every year and these gals are out of this world. Super supportive, nicer than you would believe.

As soon as the novel is finished, I’ll post a note and a brief synopsis on my blog.

Until then!

Mementos of My Grandmother

First of all, I would like to thank all of my friends. When the news came to them that my grandmother passed away last week, my friends from all corners of the globe rushed to my side via the text message, twitter, IM, cell phones and e-mail to be there for me. There are also those that waited until they were able to tell me of their sorrow for my loss face to face. Thank you. I am so blessed to have all of you in my life, I truly am.

My grandmother passed away a week ago today. I was with her when she died. Earlier in the day I had talked to the doctor. He told me quite matter-of-factly that it was just a matter of time. To be honest with you, I was grateful for his direct nature. I don’t like it when people beat around the bush when it comes to things that are just going to break my heart. I’d rather hear it straight, feel the pain, deal with it and get on with my life. He told me that she was in a state of delirium, but he said that he was sure that she knew we were there, and that she understood us and that we could talk to her. I decided to take him at his word. I had the chance to be alone with her before she passed, so I talked to her for a bit. I told her that my cousins and I were all grown up now, I had figured out how to make her wonderful apple pie and that my children were doing well in school and that I was happy. Then I told her the thing that broke my heart to say, but I knew needed to be said, because I knew right down to my soul that she was waiting to hear it. I told her that if she needed to go, she could. I told her that I was a big girl now and could take care of myself.

It hurt so bad to say it, but I meant every single word and less than an hour later, she was gone.

My aunt asked me to speak at the funeral, and I told her that I would, but when I sat down to write a few things, I couldn’t even think. My grandmother was so many things to me. I was her only grand-daughter and because of this I was spoiled, but I was also so loved by her. She drove me absolutely crazy. Every phone call was heavily laden with worry for the health of my children, “Are you feeding them babies enough? They’re not sick are they?”. Her worrying and obsessing over their well-being was so bad that my husband jumped at the first chance he had to move us out of the state when it showed up because he couldn’t watch me cope with it anymore. But in spite of all of that, when she was gone all I could think about was all of her love.

When I was little, Grandma and I would watch musicals together. The first time I saw “The King and I”, my grandma and I sat on the couch in her living room and cried over a box of kleenex as the king died. It is still my favorite musical of all time. We would also sit on the couch and watch game shows, and figure out all the answers on Jeopardy, and Wheel of Fortune long before the contestants ever got their shot. She was a sharp gal, my grandma. She also made these amazing apple pies that will always fill my soul when I think about eating them, because there was love in every bite and no one will ever make apple pie like she did. No one.

All of these memories flooded into my mind at once, and even more because I spent so much time with her. Compared to my cousins, who grew up across the country from our grandparents, I was so lucky but at the same time I still feel as though I didn’t spend enough time with them. I feel like I missed out on way too much, but I know it’s not true. I was there when it mattered. I was able to give her the key that set her free from this mortal life that was filled with hard work, pain, suffering and loneliness. My love for her allowed her to go and be with my grandpa and my uncle. My love sent her home and it is this, more than anything else, that gives me peace.

I have managed to get my hands on a couple of things from my grandparents house. They didn’t have much, they were poor and they worked their fingers to the bone every day of their lives, but what they did have, they were so very proud of. My grandmother’s depression glass collection is on its way, and I have a box that I shipped to myself before I left my parents’ house that contains some of the most precious items of all.

When the box showed up on the kitchen counter, my son looked at me and said, “So what’s with the box?”
I said, “This is my grandmother’s life.”
My daughter looked disgusted and said, “No way! Great-grandma’s ashes are in there?” At this, my husband gave me a dubious look, and then smiled because he already knew what was inside.
I shook my head and said, “No. These are pictures, mementos of every moment of my grandmother’s life. There are pictures from when she was in kindergarten, until the day that her youngest great-grandchild was born.”
My daughter said, “Oh.” and went on about her business. My son nodded and went on about his business too. My husband hugged me and I struggled not to cry.

You see, it’s my job to catalog her life. I am going to scan the photos and send some of them back to my aunt, while others will go into a photo album to chronicle this small piece of my family’s history. Once they are assembled in the book, I’ll sit down with my kids and go over every photo in detail and pass it down to them when I am gone along with the mementos of my life.. and I hope that they remember me with all the love that I feel from my grandmother right now.

Test Drives: 2004 MINI Cooper, 2008 Honda Civic EX, 2008 Subaru Impreza

So I’m in the process of buying a car. I joked with my husband that I wanted a MINI Cooper and we thought it was funny. The closest dealership is nearly 300 miles away. Warranty service seemed like it would be impossible to get and it just didn’t make sense, then he found a listing for a used one at a local dealership and took me out for a test drive just because it was fun.

Well, that was exactly the problem. It was FUN! I have never had so much fun driving a car. I loved the car so much that my husband was in shock. He figured this car shopping thing was going to be like pulling teeth. I’ve driven the same car for ten years, and I like my car. I’ve never been in love with it, but it’s reliable and gets me from A to B, so I have no complaints. I’ve told him for years that I didn’t need a new car, or want one. But, when I got behind the wheel of the MINI, my eyes lit up. It was like I had been in a driving coma and suddenly, I was alive again.

Ever since then, I’ve been car shopping with gusto. So here are some results from the cars I’ve testhy driven so far.

2004 MINI Cooper

The handling on this car is amazing. When you turn the steering wheel, it turns the car as far as you turn the wheel. Steering is not guess work. This is the first thing I noticed about the car after putting it in drive. Sure, there are lots of other features, the cockpit in the MINI is this thing that is both complex and wondrous at the same time (I never did find the button for the power windows and the salesman had no idea where to start looking), but in spite of that the drive was fun. The acceleration is punchy, yet smooth. The car doesn’t jerk or stutter when accelerating, it just goes. Stepping on the gas does something in this car, unlike in my current vehicle, where stepping on the gas is followed by a 2 second delay and then a blank stare followed by the phrase “Oh! You meant NOW!” The drive of this car was everything I wanted it to be, but I passed on this one because it was close in mileage to my current car. Still, MINIs are way fun to drive.

2008 Honda Civic EX

I’m going to talk about the interior on this one for a second. The interior on the Honda Civic is pretty much one of those sorts of things where you get into the car, look at the dash and go “What the f***?” I’m not sure what Honda was thinking. Maybe they thought that Space Aliens were going to invade and their cars needed to be ready for the transition. That said, the layout for the dash, though strange and off-putting, turns out to be amazingly awesome when you’re behind the wheel of the car. The speedo is exactly where you want it to be, just below your field of vision, so you scarcely have to take your eyes off the road to keep an eye on how fast you’re going, and the drive in this car is so fun! The Honda doesn’t handle quite as tightly as the MINI, but acceleration is nice and smooth and sometimes gets away from you. Braking on the Honda is also smooth, but the brakes in the Honda are some of the touchiest brakes I’ve used so far. It would take some getting used to, but not an all together bad thing. Steering in the civic is also nice and tight.

2008 Subaru Impreza

I drove this car because I promised my father that I would test drive one of the cars he builds. The Impreza didn’t really impress me. It handles and feels nearly identical to a Corolla, but the seats were more comfortable than in my current vehicle. This is the biggest problem with Subarus though. You buy them for their reputation of being reliable cars, you buy them because they handle great on snow. You don’t necessarily buy them because they are fun to drive. I don’t have anything bad to say about it, but I don’t really have anything great to say about it either. It was just sort of… meh…

Tonight’s test drive will be the 2008 Scion tC. Wish me luck on finding a salesman though. Last night, I stood on the lot for twenty minutes and no one ever showed up. I’m thinking these guys may not want my business.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

So, my dear friends Karl and Angel decided that it was a crying shame that I’d never read Hunter S. Thompson. When this was discovered, Angel handed me her copies of “The Great Shark Hunt” and “The Rum Diaries”, then Karl slid me copies of “Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72″ and “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.

I read the campaign trail book first, because I’d started reading it during one of the writer’s meetings that Karl and I now do every Saturday, but now that I’ve started Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I really wish I’d read it first. Fear and Loathing on the Campaign trail was kind of… well… dull. But when a book starts with the line “We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.” You know you’re at least in for some entertainment. So far, this book has been nothing if not a wild ride.

This explains a lot about Hunter S. Thompson’s funeral. I mean, I always knew the guy was a character, but until I read his books, I didn’t understand that whole having your ashes shot out of a cannon thing. Now I get it, and I’m endlessly amused by it.

I Love my AT&T Store.

So this morning, after 3 weeks… I received yet another anonymous text message from some person looking for some guy named Dave. It started a while back. My husband and I were watching House, and I was getting phone calls from this dude who sounded like he was stoned saying, “Eh… is Dave there?”

The problem is, I know several guys named Dave, and in an emergency situation, I could see one of them giving a stoner my phone number if he had no one else to turn to, so I always asked, “Which Dave, I know two and none of them live with me.” Stoner Dude (not his real name), hung up after saying, “Well it was his number this morning. Aww man!” After three days of this, I finally managed to convince Stoner Dude that this was not his phone number, and that he was going to have to come up with another way to get in touch with his friend. I figured… the guy was a stoner. It’s entirely possible he just mis-dialed a lot, or wrote down the wrong number for his friend. Fine. I let this incident go.

All was quiet for like a week. Then I got a phone call from this gentlemanly gentleman who asked me very nicely if “Dave” was there. I told him that he had the wrong number, and that I had already talked to Dave’s friend Stoner Dude, and apparently Dave is giving out my number for some reason. I asked him if he would mind asking Dave to stop giving out my number, and he said that he would as soon as he tracked him down, and apologized for bothering me. I never received a phone call from this gentleman again.

Over the course of the next two weeks, I would randomly get phone calls from catty girls, looking for Dave. I told every single one of them that Dave wasn’t at this number, one of them even called me a b-word before she hung up on me.

By this morning, I had had enough of Dave and Dave’s friends, so when I got a text message from a phone number I didn’t know, I snapped. What you see below is a recaptured conversation from my iPhone, with names and numbers changed.

From Weird Number: “Hey”
Me: “Some guy named Dave has been giving out my number for 3 weeks. Looking 4 him right? Would you mind telling him 2 stop? I’ve had this # a long time and don’t want to change it. Thnx!”
Weird Number: “Who is this?”
Me: “The person who’s tired of Dave’s friends calling her at 3 am. Who also doesn’t know who you are or why you txt msg’d her. Just assuming u are a friend of Dave’s.”
Weird Number: “I didn’t text anyone!”
Me: “Weird. I got a txt from this # Sorry to bother you. No caffeine, little sleep due to phone calls all night.”
Weird Number: “And you got a text from this number? When? Who is this?”
Me: “9:10 am. I’m (random gemini, of course!), you are?”
Weird Number: “Wilson. I am sorry you are getting calls but I have never texted this number before, nor do I know who you are.”
Me (at this point, seething and ready to call my provider and scream… ): “No prob. I’ll call my provider about it.”

Wilson could have let it go there, but this bothered him for some reason, so he kept asking me questions. While he was trying to trouble shoot, it came out that he worked at an AT&T store. So we made arrangements for me to head down there so that we could figure this whole thing out, and then I found out that Wilson’s phone is security locked… no one else could have texted me from his phone. He was confused by all of this, then he asked me to just call the store instead, because he was concerned someone had doubled up my phone number with another customer’s number. I agreed to do this, made my coffee and got ready to call him when I received the following text from Wilson.

Wilson: “Oh wait! LOL! You are not gonna believe this! I did text you! This customer who was in here just now has almost the same phone number as you! He said his texts were not working, his number is 555-1213 (mine is 555-1212) and he gave me the wrong number! I apologize!”
Me: “Thank you so much! Glad it was something simple. You’re awesome! What days do you work? I want to bring you cookies.”

It turns out, Dave had been mistakenly giving out my phone number since getting his brand new cell phone, and didn’t understand why his friends never called, and his phone never rang and why he wasn’t getting his text messages. Wilson straightened the guy out and after giving me his work schedule, he offered to help me any time I had problems with my account.

Now that ladies and gentlemen, is what I call customer service. I was rude to this guy. He didn’t have to help me, and he did anyway. I will be taking him some home made Oatmeal Scotchies tomorrow because he deserves them for putting up with the way I treated him. The customer service hotline for AT&T sucks, but I love talking to the people in the stores where I live. They really care about making sure that I’m happy, even if I’m a bitch.

Sweeney Todd

I went to see Sweeney Todd with some friends on Friday night and I just have to say that if you loved the story of Sweeney Todd and have seen the musical, I think that you’d be very happy with Tim Burton’s treatment of the story. It really translated well to film and the performances in this film were absolutely fantastic. Most films that Tim Burton has lent his creative eye to that I’ve enjoyed are stories that are well designed for his artistic tendency toward the macabre. Batman wasn’t a good choice for Burton, but Sweeney Todd is the perfect story for Tim Burton and his view of the world.

One thing that I really appreciated in this film was the use of red paint for blood, as opposed to the realistic blood that we’ve become used to in films these days. I was relieved to see that because it gave the film a sense that you could have been watching this show on a stage on Broadway, with these vast sets and brilliant acting and stage direction. It took me back to the days when Hollywood productions were these absolutely immense undertakings. It took me back to the days when musicals were often translated to film, and translated very well.

If you plan to go see Sweeney Todd, keep in mind that this is a gruesome story and the gore has nothing to do with Tim Burton. Everything that he includes that’s gory and disgusting has been in every version of the play that I have ever seen.

Brilliant job Mr. Burton. Just brilliant.

Blogging Lite

I’m keeping it skimpy today due to an unforeseen run-in with a calculator and a ball point pen.

No, really I’m fine. It just hurts to type a lot.

Of interest today:

Hillary on the run from Obama.

Britney hospitalized after row with ex.

Sony releasing DRM Free songs on Amazon.com

And that’s about it… I know, it’s a weird mix of news, but sometimes, like today, you just put up links to the first three things that caught your eye, regardless of how stupid they were.

Happy Friday!

10 Things I Loved in 2007.

When reading through all the end of the year lists posted on various sites, I noticed that so many of them were negative. “10 Biggest Disappointments” was something that caught my eye, and while funny, I really felt like it was important to end the year on a positive note. You see, 2007 has been a great year. It really has. The best things about it to me, are probably unimportant to you though, so I’m going to stick with materialistic objects of the year that made my eyes pop out of my skull.

I know, it’s oh so shallow of me, but I’m a gadget girl. Get over it.

10. Heavenly Sword

This game, unlike so many PS3 titles before it really showed me that buying this console was completely worth it. While short, Heavenly Sword uses the sixaxis controller for all its worth. It seamlessly guides you through standard controls, while taking full advantage of the motion control, and another first for me, was the use of full motion video during real time game play. Yes, it’s picture in picture, but so what? Watching a scene out of the corner of your eye, while you’re busy bashing tables and clearing space for a good fight is well worth it.

9. The Wacom Bamboo Fun Tablet

This tablet is the least expensive tablet I have seen come on the market. While The Gimp has it’s issues with it under Windows (apparently pointing devices in windows are treated as a single item, under linux they are individual peripherals with their own settings), it works seamlessly with Adobe Photoshop 5.5 and even under Windows Vista itself. This tablet deserves mention on this list, primarily due to price. Prior to this, it was difficult to find a worthy tablet for less than 100$. I truly believe that Wacom has struck gold with this device, allowing itself to cut into a market of the curious and tablet noobs, which allows them to later sell the higher end Intuos to people who find themselves really using the hell out of this thing. I may upgrade eventually, but for now, the bamboo fun really is just that, fun. It’s so rare to find a product that actually is what it says it is.

8. Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad

This anime lands itself on my list of favorite anime of all time, and Funimation’s release of this title has been excellent. From the awesome menus, down to maintaining the original Japanese credits, they have treated this title with the respect and love that it deserves. I have yet to see the pivotal episode 23, during which Koyuki spends the end and most of the following episode singing the same Beatles’ tune, but I have high hopes that it was not replaced in the Japanese dub, even if it was replaced in the English dub. We’ll see when I pick up that volume. Regardless, the release quality on this series has made me sit back in awe of Funimation due to the sheer amount of respect that they had in maintaining the integrity of the show. Well done Funimation. Well done.

7. Transformers: Live Action

Michael Bay, what can I say to you? Words escape me.

You rock man!

While Transformers wasn’t everything I wanted it to be, it was everything that I hoped for. I walked into that theater expecting to see giant robots throwing helicopters around like they were toys and what did I get? I got giant robots throwing helicopters around like toys! You even managed to give us back the real Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen, for the uninitiated), who had been absent from the transformers universe for so long that it drove us to tears of agony and despair. Everything that I loved about the cartoon series in my childhood was here, absolutely everything. For 144 minutes, I was ten years old again. Nothing I have
seen this year made me feel that way, nothing. Thank you Mr. Bay, for giving me back my childhood magic.

6. In Rainbows – Radiohead

The innovative pricing scheme aside, this is just a damned good album. It is not the best Radiohead album that I’ve heard, but it was well worth the price I chose to pay for it. The music here is reflective and thoughtful. Fabulous for wandering around outside while you’re taking a walk and taking time out to just… think. The pricing scheme is another matter entirely, which I thought was terribly clever, though Radiohead, I do wish you would release your actual sales numbers. I know that I had to try for three days straight to get into the site to buy my copy of the album, and finally I logged onto it in the middle of the afternoon and managed to get my download to go through, so you must have made something!Thank you for a great album, and for presenting the world with a new way of thinking about music distribution.

5. Heroes: Season 1 on DVD

I rented the first DVD of this series on Netflix, and was so enamored with the show, that I went out and bought the DVD’s the following week. I had to watch all of this as soon as humanly possible. Forget the fact that it was just a cool premise, with actors that were so great that I was impressed that this ran on NBC. It was the fact that this was finally a show that I could watch with my teenagers that was grown up, thought provoking and fun that did not embarrass the holy crap out of me with comments that I had to explain when an episode was over. There were shouts of “Su-pa Hi-ro!” as we ran to the basement to watch this series on the big screen and all of us loved it, every single second. Sadly, the writer’s strike has taken the second season away from us, and from what I’ve heard so far, it sounds like it was a good thing. Rumor has it, season 2 sucks. Also, NBC, you’re twits. If this had been available on blu-ray, I would have bought it on blu-ray. Alas, it was not meant to be.

4. Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3

I know, this is the second video game to make this list, but hear me out. This isn’t a ps3 title. This game is totally last gen. No, no one can watch you play this game and understand the draw that it has for you, but as one reviewer said, when you are sitting down, away from your console and controller, planning out your schedule for the week in the game, you know you’re hooked. SMT: Persona 3 gave us a unique perspective on gaming. It was both a slice of life title, and a traditional RPG at once. No game I have played before or since has taken me to two completely different worlds and blended them so seamlessly, with a story that was so engaging that it was worth sitting in front of the ps2 for over 100 hours to get to the final scene of the game. This is definitely my personal favorite game of the year.

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Okay, so this list has revealed me to be the geek that I truly am beneath all the glitter and shine. So what? This book was awesome. This was the culmination of the Harry Potter series, that had not only captured the imaginations of my children, but also myself and my husband and everyone that I know that bothers to pick up books on occasion. I won’t spoil it by telling you what I loved about the book, I will only say that I went to the midnight release party and by the following morning, I’d finished it and passed it on to my son, who finished it the morning after that. I know that I only slept when I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, and I’m pretty sure that my son didn’t sleep at all.

2. Fruits Basket 18.

Yeah, more with my anime/manga fandom, but again I plead for tolerance. This volume is by far the most poignant of the entire series to date, and the only one that left me crying. Not just near tears, I was crying like the girl that I am. I won’t spoil the story for fans, but if you aren’t reading Fruits Basket, and you’re a girl… I just have to ask, “What’s stopping you?” Sure, manga is an expensive habit, but some series are worth it. Fruits Basket tops the list of worth it. I won’t expect males to understand Fruits Basket. The story is centered around a female main character who is more than a little ditzy, and would fall flat and uninteresting to those who have never been a teenage girl and truly understood the girl that you knew (or the self that you left behind) that had such a big heart, that it was all she could do to not wrap the entire world up in it.

1. My family

Okay, okay, I know that I said this list would be materialistic, but I really think it’s important for you to understand that at the end of the day, everything that is on this list is something that I love because I shared it with the people that are important to me. My husband sat behind me for the entire time that I played Persona 3. My entire family sits next to me on the couch when I break out Heavenly Sword. My kids went to the theater with me to see Transformers. My daughter got a Wacom Bamboo Fun tablet for Christmas and we spent time together while I showed her how to use it with photoshop. My son and I have always shared our love of Harry Potter and we talked about the books for hours after finishing each installment. My husband found Beck and we spent many a Friday night watching the show in the basement, laughing and crying together. Heroes was also a family activity which gave us a lot of togetherness. Music is also not something I keep to myself, and I have shared the Radiohead CD with my entire family and talked to them about the album. I’ve even shared Fruits Basket with my children. The important part about this year, and what made these things things that I loved, was who I shared them with. At the end of the day, family is what matters.

Ellen and the Dog.

After reading the comments on this article in wapo, I had to say something.

Many of the commenters in this article are obviously clueless. One particularly irritated me. “Susie” wrote: “And to limit dogs to families with no kids (14 and over is essentially no kids) is ridiculous as well.” I’ve met many a dog that has no business being in a home with children, and many a child that has no business having a dog. There are lots of dogs that love and adore children, a friend of mine has a fat and happy golden retriever that absolutely adores children, and his other dog, a yellow lab/german shepherd mix, while an old lady these days, still manages to get some bounce in her step when she has children to frolick with.

My own dog is another story. He likes his children, but only his children. My dog and my daughter haven’t been famous friends, and my dog has been terrorized by my neighbor’s children in the past, and I only discovered it after I cleaned up cuts and knicks in his skin after a whole fist full of rocks were hucked at him. As a result, my dog doesn’t like children that are more than three feet tall and less than five feet tall. Placing this dog in a home with young children would be sheer idiocy and many dogs that end up in rescue programs end up there because they don’t get along with the children in the home. The rescuers are not doing it to “hoard” the dogs. They’re doing it to save the dogs from an inevitable death in a shelter or on a veterinary table because, for a growing number of dogs out there, dog + children = bite.

It really is down to the fact that so many people just assume that because they have children, they must have a dog. Dogs aren’t part and parcel to the whole parenting schtick, and being a good parent doesn’t mean that you’re a good dog owner. These things are mutually exclusive.

As for Ellen… honey, you should have read your contract. I agree that it is sad that the rescue organization seized the dog from what appears to be a good home, but in the process of trying to get your way you have made it harder for the organization to place other dogs in homes. This isn’t about one dog. This is about a nation of dogs who have been abandoned by their owners for whatever reason. Some of the reasons that I’ve heard for people dropping off their dog at a shelter have shocked me and vary from “Well, I’m moving and he’s too big for an apartment.” to “He didn’t match our living room furniture.” While I understand that your intentions were good, many people are too stupid to own dogs and the rescue organization is just trying to protect the dogs from stupid people. Please try to put your own feelings aside and believe that the rescue really does have the best interests of the dog at heart.

Ten Guilty Pleasures

I found this wonderful list of 100 topics to blog about on Chris Brogan’s blog. If you’re interested after reading my ten guilty pleasures, pull down a topic and write one of your own, but be sure to link back to him.

When I think about guilty pleasures, I think of decadent things like chocolate. The common idea of what these things are tends to be food related, but I don’t really treat food like a guilty pleasure. I love to eat, we all do, but that’s not the point of a guilty pleasure if you really think about it. Guilty pleasures are things that we don’t need, but want to do for ourselves, in spite of the fact that we don’t need it. Some women think that taking long, luxurious, scented baths is a guilty pleasure. If you think about it, smoking can be a kind of guilty pleasure. Indulging in expanding one’s cd or dvd collection could also be added to the list.

My friends all have different ideas of what guilty pleasures are. I know that for one of my friends, food really is her guilty pleasure. For another, it’s his porn collection. These ideas vary widely with the individual. Guilty pleasures are something that is truly based around the individual.

For me, it’s hard to pinpoint just one thing that I would consider a guilty pleasure and the idea varies widely even among my own personal indulgences. Yeah, I really go for the occassional cupcake, and I love ice cream, but those things are really just good food to me. They aren’t what I indulge in. I indulge in electronics, media and manga. My friends don’t always get that, but my guilty pleasures really aren’t about them. They’re about things that make me feel good. They are things that are for me and for no one else. I don’t have to share, and I don’t want to.

Does that sound selfish? I think it does, but I also know that many people spend a large part of their lives looking at what’s going on around them. They think about how they can help someone else, or how they can change someone else to make life easier, but the reality is, the only thing you have the power to change is yourself. Sometimes that means spending money on something that seems frivolous.

These are my indulgences.

1. iPod Nano 2nd Gen.

I got my iPod Nano for my birthday this year, even though it was right before the expected release of the 3rd gen iPods, I love my Nano. Sometimes, I’ll share music that’s on my iPod with my family, but 90% of my listening happens when I’m alone in the car. I have a wireless transmitter for my iPod, and I will crank up the J-pop and sing while I’m driving down the highway. It fills my soul up to do this, and recharges my batteries for the evening ahead. For 15 minutes on the road, the world only has me and my music in it. It’s a wonderful feeling.

2. Motorola Razr.

My cell phone. I love my cell phone. I love it so much that I go out of my way to find excuses to call people on it. I didn’t need a cutting edge phone, that’s for sure. At the time that I purchased my razr, it was the cutting edge phone. It had bells and whistles on it that have now become standard thanks to the razr raising everyone’s expectations of cellular devices. Mostly, I wanted a razr because they came in pink, and I could find the thing at the bottom of my purse, but I also wanted it to live up to the expectations that I had from my previous Nokia phone, which was a fairly cutting edge model when I got it, but wasn’t nearly as easy to use and customize as the razr. I have a lot of fun making my own custom wallpapers and ring tones for this phone. This is now important to me, because it’s something that I can do to make this phone mine and set it apart from all the other razrs out there on the planet.

3. Chobits

This is the second anime title I ever purchased. I got hooked on it because of episode 5. During this particular episode, the main character, Chii, goes shopping for panties. Chii’s a recently reformatted personal computer and has a hard time remembering things, so she walks all the way from the apartment to the lingerie store chanting, “Underpants, underpants, underpants.” I giggled for the entire half hour, which really stunk for my husband because he was on a conference call with the office after hours and I just couldn’t stop giggling. I got some of the dirtiest looks from him, but it was worth it. The rest of the series is just wonderful, and while no one else in this house will watch this anime except me, I don’t care. It was worth every single penny I spent on it.

4. Nintendo DS

Originally, my DS was purchased so I could play Animal Crossing with my kids. I’ve gotten bored with Animal Crossing and have graduated to Hotel Dusk, which is just a load of fun. I also picked up the first two Phoenix Wright games, and am anxiously awaiting the third. My husband doesn’t get it. The graphics on the DS look about as good as the graphics on my brother’s old super nintendo. They’re nothing to shout about. One of my friend’s first comments to me about it was, “Wow, it’s a pepto bismal pink game boy.” He didn’t get it either. My DS, is really all about me. I don’t have to share this console with anyone and I can play whatever I want, whenever I want. It’s instant gratification gaming, and if the graphics suck, oh well. That’s why my husband bought a PS3.

5. Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3

Okay, I admit it. I’m not a big fan of MegaTen titles. I’ve only ever played DDS prior to picking up my copy of Persona 3, and I still haven’t finished DDS because I can’t get past all the damned grinding. Persona 3 though… makes grinding fun. No one else in my house is interested in this game and so far I’ve blown a whopping 60$ on the thing for the game and the game guide (because really, you can’t get through a MegaTen game without a guide, and you have no idea how much I wished for a guide for DDS). The graphics on this title don’t even push a PS2 to its limits, and I usually end up playing this game on the ps3, simply because the ps3 is in my living room. It’s really not all that, but the game is damned fun and the story is engaging enough to keep me entertained. What more could I want in a personal indulgence title?

6. HP Pavillion dv6448se Laptop

I needed a new laptop. Not bad, but I needed one. Now, my previous laptop is seriously showing its age, and I’m glad I replaced it, but I didn’t need the laptop I bought. Nope, no way. I didn’t need windows vista, or two gig of ram, or a Turion 64×2 processor. I didn’t need the really sweet nvidia graphics card that’s on board this baby, and I already had an external dvd burner. I didn’t really need any of this crap, but it’s nice. The laptop was mostly purchased because it’s a special edition with a white back and metal casing. The keyboard is silver, and the laptop is visually gorgeous. My husband took a look at the specs and decided to get it for me for a couple reasons. 1. It’s a damned nice machine. 2. They were running a special on it when we walked into the store the week after I saw it, so the price was right around what he wanted to spend. Yes, even I admit that it’s more than I need, and I may never go buy that copy of bioshock to play on this machine… but it’s damned nice to know that if I got a wild hair up my behind to do so, I can.

7. Red River

Red River is a shoujo manga series that is currently waiting for volume 19 to release. Yes, I said 19. I started purchasing this series two years ago. This manga isn’t particularly outstanding. The art is very detailed, which I really like, but it’s a tad old school for my usual tastes. What gets me is the romance. I get swept away by Yuri and Kail and their deep, abiding love for one another. It’s silly and high-schoolish. My husband doesn’t get what I see in it, and he doesn’t understand why I’ve spend almost 200$ on this manga series so far. I can’t really explain it either except to say that I positively adore Red River. When I get a new volume, I immediately run upstairs to my bedroom and sit down and read the whole volume cover to cover. Then I back up a few volumes to get the full story together in my mind, and re-read the new volume when I’m done. Then I’ll sit down and read the whole series to date, to see if I see anything in the older volumes that I might have missed before. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this. I have guilt about doing it because I pretty much abandon my family for three hours when I get a new volume of Red River, but I feel so revitalized when I’m done with it because I spent time doing something that I enjoyed doing and I don’t have to explain it to someone else. They know that it’s really all about me, and it’s wonderful that they respect that for those three hours once every couple of months.

8. Leather Jacket with two matching purses wallet and boots.

When I was a teenager, I opposed the idea of purchasing clothing made from dead things. I still won’t do fur. But there’s something about leather, especially Italian Lambskin. It’s so damned soft and feels so good in your hands, that I just can’t stop myself when I get the opportunity to buy some. It started with my jacket. I needed a winter jacket that wasn’t horribly bulky because colleges don’t exactly have lockers that you can shove your stuff in with the intent of finding it there when you get back to it. A bulky overcoat doesn’t fly very well when you have to hang it on the back of a chair. So we were walking by Wilson’s and they were running a sale, and my jacket was purchased. After that came the matching black hand bag that fits in my back pack when I need it to, and comes out for carrying around on the weekends. But that purse was too small, and when I went by Wilson’s again, they were running another sale, and my large Italian lambskin bag was purchased along with a matching wallet, because my wallet was also too small. These things all had to match this completely awesome pair of boots that a friend of mine ordered online, which didn’t end up fitting her when she got them, so I bought them off of her and they are now my winter footwear of choice. Comfy, warm and durable. I could have gotten by with less expensive things, but there’s something about leather. I can’t describe it.

9. Non-fat Sugar Free White Chocolate Mochas from the local Java Hut.

Now, every once in a while, I’ll ask for 2% milk, but I usually stick to the non-fat because it’s better for you. Nowadays, drinking 2% milk tastes like drinking half and half to me, so I can tell when the girls at the Java Hut accidentally subbed 2% for Non-fat. You’re probably wondering why this is such a guilty pleasure, considering that it’s non-fat and sugar free. It’s a guilty pleasure because I actually have an espresso machine and can make my own non-fat, sugar free white chocolate mochas at home. I end up paying 4$ for the privilege of going to the java hut and gabbing at a very cheerful, very nice gal who knows me by name when I drive up and tells me that my nails look fantastic while she makes my coffee for me. You can’t beat a 4$ ego booster to start your day, in addition to getting your caffeine.

10. Acrylic Nails.

This is my big sin. I pay about 50$ a month to get my nails done. I don’t need to spend this money, I can do my own nails and have done my own acrylics before. I’m not bad at it. My manicurist though, does amazing nails, the best nails in town. She’s always booked up and getting in with her is a bit of a chore, but she’s worth it. She’s a ray of sunshine and is very creative with what she can do with acrylics. I’ve had white tips, pink tips, red tips with holly leaves and berries on them for Christmas, black tips because well, they were neat, and I’ve also done brown and purple and several variations on the white theme with various and sundry flowers hand painted on them by her. Does anyone else benefit from this besides me and my manicurist? Um… absolutely not. Who cares? I don’t have to keep my nails polished if I don’t want to, I don’t get hang nails and if I want to polish my nails, it stays on because nail polishes are actually designed to work best over the top of acrylic nails. It’s a win win situation for me, even if it is a bit frivolous. Yeah, if I needed the money, I’d stop getting my nails done, but as soon as I had it again, I’d call her and make an appointment to get a new set put on as soon as she had time.