I see you as an angel,
coming to save me from a terrible fate.
My dreams deceive me.
If I have sinned in anything in life,
I have sinned in not being happy
with what God gave me.

Healthy family, a happy home
(is any home happy?)
The capacity, if not the ability,
to hear your voice,
see your face,
touch your skin.

It’s not enough.
I want more.
I want the deception of my dreams.
I want to hear you
whisper in my ear as I dream.
I want to feel you
kiss my shoulder as I sleep.
I want to…
know what color your eyes really are.

All of this because of a dream.

And now, especially now, I want to believe.