Let’s be realistic about how we get involved in relationships that work.
We find someone that we like the look of, we learn if they have things in common with us, and if we find enough commonality to build a foundation upon, we can have a successful relationship with that person. This is true of friendship, family and romance. It’s actually really very simple, but people get so wound up about romance and dating that they can’t see the forest for the trees.
I think we get so wound up in it because falling in love is something that anyone can do. It does not require a degree. It doesn’t require that you have a job, and it doesn’t require that you be part of a certain social class. Whatever your class, race or creed, you can fall in love. All of us are capable of doing so. The trouble comes in, when we convince ourselves that we have to find our one true love
What does that even mean?
What’s wrong with just plain old love? Love by itself is pretty special. I don’t need it to be some deeper, more intense bond. What you feel when you’re in love with someone is pretty intense on its own and it doesn’t need additional guidance. All it requires is a compatibility of spirit, and the ability to smile and laugh with the person you’re with. If they can make you laugh when you’re bawling your eyes out because you had to put your cat to sleep, this is a person worthy of spending your time with.
If he buys you a gift for Christmas, don’t try to read into it and get sucked into some generic love advice website’s idea of what he meant when he bought you that thing. He is not trying to send you some weird mixed message with his gift. If the man bought you something, it is up to you to appreciate the gift. Even if he got you the same thing he bought you last year, and especially if the relationship is new and all he brings you are some flowers. Accept gifts for what they are, gifts and enjoy them.
Geeks are no exception to this, but there is something important that non-geeks really have to understand.
You have no business dating a geek!
If you cannot squeal and giggle when your sweetie brings you home a stick of ram for a present, you are the wrong girl for a geek. If your eyes don’t light up at the thought of the latest video game release on your sweetie’s console of choice, you’re dating the wrong guy. If you do not find yourself listening to him talk about his work day, and being able to follow the conversation, what are you doing with him?
How can you foster a healthy relationship with someone you don’t understand? You need to be involved with the sort of person that you enjoy talking to, that lights you up inside with his wit, and his gifts. If you don’t find RAM to be romantic, as some lame love advice sites might suggest, you’re with the wrong person.
Food for thought.