Johnny and the Popcorn Popper

The world has become an interesting place over the last 15 years. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I looked at the world and wondered what amazing changes were going to take place in my lifetime, but if I had to pick one… I’d say it was the internet.

It has really changed everything that we do and the way we think about doing it. Thus begins the story of Johnny and the Popcorn Popper. I’d like to preface the story by saying that any similarities to persons living or dead, is purely coincidental and almost assuredly, this story was not inspired by people that I follow on twitter or their escapades in the newsroom. Absolutely nothing to do with it. Definitely not.

It was the middle of the afternoon and Johnny was at work. He handled all of the usual requests, and since it was Friday, the place was busy but no one had a lot for him to do. His projects basically ran themselves, so instead of having to get any work done, Johnny found himself shopping online while waiting to sneak out to his car for his usual lunch time nap.

Someone had popped popcorn in the newsroom again. The smell permeated the entire station and soon, before Johnny even knew it, he was staring at pages upon pages of popcorn poppers. Some of the units were fairly simple. Little more than a hair dryer attached to a base that pushed hot air up through the kernels. Some were strange, microwave contraptions that looked like the little paper cups the nurse hands you when you’ve got to use the facilities and aren’t supposed to get out of bed. Still others were giant, self-contained bowls that you could take over to the couch with you after the popping business was done. But nothing prepared him for the cool factor of the Cuisinart CPM 900 Easy Pop.

It promised a fresh bowl of popcorn in just five minutes! It claimed that you could determine how healthy you wanted to make your popcorn by using as little, or as much oil as you pleased! It proclaimed that it provided a healthy alternative to microwave popcorn and that it would keep the popcorn crisp and fresh long after popping! It dangled the possibility that caramel corn could be made in this contraption and that cleanup afterward would not require a horde of small children with a sugar craving and a lot of patience. Not with this amazing device. No sir! This device need only be placed in the dishwasher after popping. No mess. No complications. Just chuck it in, turn it on and be done with the thing.

Johnny stared at the popcorn popper that seemed to call out to his soul through the pale light of his computer screen. It was an impulse buy and he knew it, but that didn’t seem to matter just then. The idea of a bowl of fresh, crispy popcorn that required almost no clean up or effort to acquire it sounded really good. It didn’t matter that the thing was almost 70$ and that the economy was in desperate need of recovery. In fact, not saving money was part of his civic duty to help restore the economy to its former glory, was it not?

Yes, indeed! By impulse buying this popcorn popper, he was showing the world that he could help save America from evil. In his own small way, he would be a hero.

With a big smile, and a feeling of patriotism carried in his heart, he joyfully clicked “add to cart”.