Every day since Mugen died has been tough. Some mornings, I don’t even know how I get out of bed because I certainly don’t want to. Some days, the only thing I wake up for, is to take care of Jazzmin and Jet, who need me. Other days it’s not as bad. I have my moments where I don’t struggle. I don’t know how people ever feel whole again after something like this and the hardest part for me is that it was an accident. I can’t really blame myself or anyone else and it’s so much easier to be angry and to grieve when you have someone to blame. With Lucy and Reilly, I hit a place of acceptance not long afterwards. I hit a place where I was ready to move on because when I lost them, it was their time to go. It was not Mugen’s time. He was most certainly not called home to God.… [Read More]
When I think about Mugen’s life, I realize that I always thought that he was the dog in the background. He was my quiet little patch of puppy wonderfulness and serenity standing in Lucy’s shadow. After Lucy died, I could not have made it through grieving for her without him. He stayed by my side constantly and licked away my tears and then stole my dish towels to make me laugh. I can never express to anyone how special Mugen was. I’m pretty good with words, but Mugen was so much more than just my dog. He was my salvation and while I knew that, I didn’t think that anyone else saw him like I did. Now, when I think back on all the moments with him that I never told anyone about, the private ones, where we are sitting on the living room sofa and he has managed to pack his 70 pound self into my lap with his head on my chest and he sighs just before he starts to snore in my ear, I know how warm and full my heart was and I keenly feel the emptiness that has been left behind.… [Read More]
Everything is going to be the thing I did after Mugen died, for a little while.
There’s the cross stitch I made and the coffee I drank.
There’s the song I liked and the game I played.
Then the pictures I took and the life I had.
Mugen is missing from all of them. I planned for him to be here for all of this stuff. I planned to love him until he was an old man and needed help to get up the stairs. I had planned for him to be Jet’s brother until they were old men together.
That is not how things are going to be. Mugen passed away yesterday afternoon. Almost 7 months to the day after we lost Lucy.
I cannot explain how much rage I have inside me right now.
Part of me actually wants to believe that someone poisoned him because it would be easier for me to have someone to hate, but when I go through everything in my mind there’s just no way that happened.… [Read More]
I want to write a full blown review on Boneshaker, but I’m not passionate about my thoughts on this book. It was a good read and an enjoyable read. I really loved the setting and the world that Ms. Priest painted in this story, but I neither loved, nor hated this book. The characters were excellent. The writing was excellent, but the plot fell a bit flat for me. It was a little more predictable than I would have liked, but her ability to immerse me in the world and her characters was more than enough to make up for that and keep me turning pages, instead of allowing me to put the book down. I had a lot of fun reading this book.
It could be that I just wasn’t in the mood for this for this sort of fiction and if I go back and re-read this book at another time, I will enjoy it a lot more and I could write a more in depth review at that time.… [Read More]
I waited six years for this book to come out. That’s right, six years.
The reviews were just glowing prior to its release and after having read this book, they make me wonder if any of those reviewers have actually read A Game of Thrones, which is far and away a better novel than A Dance with Dragons can ever hope to be. Still, there is hope. I will not blow smoke up someone’s behind over this novel. If you are a fan of the series, you should read it. This is a climactic piece. There are so many storytelling elements that get put into play here that you will find yourself slogging through chapters that you would normally skip, simply because you know there are pieces to the puzzle inside. Overall, this is a good entry into the series, but I am not going to sit here and tell you that it was the best book I’ve ever read, because simply put, it wasn’t.… [Read More]