Parenting Teenagers Sucks.

This morning, hubby again tried to let me sleep in. He’s so sweet and I love him for it… but my daughter when she’s hormonal… I swear I could just explode.

Hubby had her put Lucy out. She didn’t wait for Lucy to go all the way. Both dogs, first thing in the AM have to do 1 and 2. She let Lucy pee but didn’t wait for the second half of the game. So she brought Lucy back in. Lucy, bless her heart, came upstairs to my bedroom and bumped her head on the door and tried to wake me up. I woke up in time to catch her squatting on my carpet as hubby was running up the stairs after her. Poor baby.

So quite obviously, I was awake for the day.

Hubby cleans up the mess and apologizes profusely for not making sure that Lucy had gotten to go all the way and I tell him it’s fine and I have the daughter take Lucy back outside for me, and this time, Lucy gets to finish. The mess is cleaned up and all is well.

I go back upstairs, I release Mugen from his crate and put him in the bed and he wants to play. So we play for a bit. We have a good time and everything is fine. I’m really having a great day. I head downstairs and I send the daughter outside with Mugen. She happily takes him out to pee and I go about getting ready and all of that.

I came downstairs, got my breakfast on and just as I was sitting down to eat it, I catch Mugen… squatting on my carpet. The minute he sees me, he stops and cries. So I holler for the daughter and she’s nowhere to be found. I run into the kitchen and grab his collar and leash and get them on him and holler again and she finally comes downstairs and I hand her the leash and tell her to take him out.

She… gets all hormonal and female on me and throws the leash at me and runs back upstairs.

This is where the mom zen thing comes into play. I took a deep breath and I took my puppy out. I calmly praised Mugen for being a good boy when he went outside, even though I had just stepped in a pile of poo from yesterday that I had asked the son to take care of for me.

Then I came back in and I threatened her life as she knew it.

I told her that if she didn’t come downstairs and clean up the mess, I was going to take away her PS3 privleges from now until she graduates high school. This is particularly mean, and I knew it, because I just got the collector’s edition of Assassin’s Creed 2 last night (if you are video game addict, let me know, I have pictures of the 6″ figure that came with it and the collector’s box, VERY cool). She’s been waiting for this game all year.

So she comes downstairs, stands in the kitchen with a fist full of paper towels and looks at me like she’s clueless about what to do, even though I know she’s not because she’s cleaned up after dogs before. I mean we’ve only had dogs in the house for… hrm… let’s see… the entirety of her LIFE.

I tell her to get moving and she drops a curse word at me.

Now… you must understand that I don’t care what my kids say or how they talk when they are not around me. If they curse in front of their friends, whatever. I let them know that I know they do it. I’m not stupid after all. I draw the line when it comes to cursing in front of me. But this… was worse. She wasn’t just letting a curse word slip out at the dinner table because she was telling some joke she overheard at school. Oh no…

She cursed… AT.. me.

That’s another matter entirely… and this was the second time that she’d done that this week.

If she HAD a cell phone, she would NOT have a cell phone right now. I would have pulled the battery out of it and stuffed it in the back pocket of my jeans. That’s how angry I was.

I glared at her and took a deep breath and said, “If you don’t move your bleeping bleep into that parlor to clean up that mess, you will learn a whole new definition of the word “grounded.”

So she cleaned up the mess.

It took her less than five minutes. It was no big deal and she felt like a dork for fussing about it like a child and she apologized for her behavior. I calmly accepted her apology and informed her that she was still grounded from the PS3 until Saturday. This gives the son and I a three day head start on Assassin’s Creed you see… before she can even get close to the idea of taking over my Playstation.

She’s lucky that she has such a kind and benevolent mother. I think anyone else would have at least swatted her for talking to them like she did.I warned her that the next time she curses at me, I will wash her mouth out with soap.