The Trampler’s Guide to Foot Fetishes

This one is for Thayne. It came out of a very funny conversation during which my friend was surfing for… who knows what on the internet, and while he was surfing he told me about all of the strange fetish sites that he found. This one caused us to laugh for twenty minutes and a poem came out of the moment, as poems often do.

I stared at the words on the screen.

Uncertain of whether to be afraid or amused.

“The Trampler’s Guide to Foot Fetishes”, it said.

I clicked through and read on.

The first page had pictures of dancing feet.

Below, in large text, it exclaimed:

“You must be eighteen to visit this site.”

I clicked through again.

What I saw on the page caught me by surprise.

Fully clothed women posed for pictures.

Some of their feet were bare, most were not.

My search for smut had been thwarted!

By college girls who were totally dressed,

and showing off the jewels gracing their

delicate pinky toes!

As I moved on to page three, I began to smile.

Then I laughed.

Nowhere was a more decent fetish site to be found.

Which made the Trampler’s Guide to Foot Fetishes seem,

at least ten times more perverted

than it really ought to be.